Ascending to CLouD NiNE

The energies were rising.

Everyone was feeling them,

including her.

As she began her new way of life,

she realized that how she wanted the energies to

play out in her days,

were always totally up to her.

If she wanted to have a lot of energy,

full of joy,

happiness,

love,

and just pure energy...

All she had to do was listen to her heart. 

However, 

if she wanted her day to be

 a struggle after struggle..

Full of strain,

stress,

 worry, 

and 

Negativity

that could drain an entire ocean,

all she had to do was wake up

and begin by telling herself that she needed to go to work

to make that money

and 

will enjoy breakfast after she got there.

Then from there,

the drain will have been completely unplugged,

with no where to go but down.

  She chose to go up...

So...

 That day,

 she began her day

with her favorite cup of coffee,

Cafe Bustelo!

As well as her daily meditation.

Her meditation consisted of

first putting 

music in her headphones.

The kind of music that

sometimes took her back to old memories 

and old feelings.

And sometimes 

the kind of music

 that took her into a calm where she 

could really relax and feel 

what she was truly feeling in that exact moment.

Alongside her music,

she also had a website or blogger

who specialized in planetary readings. 

She really liked the ones that always 

made her question what she was feeling.

They got her to open up those uncomfortable feelings 

that she knew she was always trying to suppress or run away from.

As she did a check list of her body talk,

Tooth pain? Check

Right thumb paper cut.. Check

Left knee pain... Check

Then...

After welcoming them all as well as all the fears attached to them,

she was ready to begin her day by asking her heart

what it would really like to do 

 at that very moment that would make it 

feel happy and loved.

And from there she would follow exactly what it whispered to her.

She just had to quiet her mind in order to hear and feel the answer.

And from that moment forward, 

everything she did was filled with energy.

She had learned the hard way

that the only thing she always had to really be aware of..

is that every time she made a decision..

It had to come from her hearts desires. 

Her truest values.

Love for herself.

Otherwise,

If she was rushed to make a decision

and made it out of fear,

Fear of losing, 

fear of abandonment,

fear of rejection, 

she would feel it hit hard!

And eventually if she kept running on making her 

decisions out of fear,

Her tank would eventually crack and all the energy 

would drain completely 

with no one to blame

but herself.  

 

Finale Part Too

She wanted it all to end. 

But she was still there.

Still in her no where existence...

She wasn't a pill popper, 

Yet the decisions she wasn't making 

and the ones she was...

really started to look to everyone like she was indeed 

on crazy pills. 

Loco even...?

But not the loco-motion type. 

So, she had to do something about it.

Life was just going to keep repeating,

especially if she didn't plant new seeds..

And perhaps...

She thought about it a second..

But perhaps,

The seeds weren't the most important part this time around.

Maybe this time..

It was the land where she decided to plant them.

The land had to be tilled and readied.

Prepped..

Well turned over.

And that land was her brain...

She needed to pull out all the weeds.

Before she could even begin to plant new seeds.

And so she began her gardening days.

Welcoming all the old traumas that grew all over every action she

ever decided to do.

She was ready to seize each day 

and clear all that had grown over. 

And this to her was a true Finale...

To finally end all the tried yet untrue.

And then began again

without knowing...

Finale... Part One

 She had taken the blue pill and awoke 

back in her old room.

Next to him,

 in his bed

that he gladly shared with her.

Of course she was grateful.

She knew nothing was promised.

Not even life.

So everyday she woke up 

and was grateful for yet another chance

to make the most of her opportunity.

Then it happened..

As she sat there in her gratefulness...

She wondered...

Without the red pill and the rabbit hole...

What was she to do?

She realized she needed a job.

But then thought, isn't that when the rabbit had appeared to her?

Having to leave behind her la la land

And chase that rabbit with the special watch..

She couldn't think of the answer since

Her time was running out!

Rent was around the corner.

Food was becoming scarce.

Was life really just one great big disappointment?

No matter how much she wanted to escape the rabbit hole,

There really was no other choice..

Was there? 

Or did she get it wrong?

Was the blue pill the one that kept taking her back to 

the life she wanted to escape?

Then she realized..

She was popping pills left and right. 

Blue or Red..

Red or Blue

Didn't matter..

She had become a pill popper....

And there she died...

 In the midst of it all,

with no one to blame but herself...

Except...

Surrender what was... and just flow with it..

 As she sat

in her now moment,

 she looked around herself.

Every thing was the same

yet different.

It seemed, that when she flew 

a thousand miles away from

where she felt so uncomfortable...

Evidently,

 she had brought the 

discomfort with her.

It wasn't her location.

It wasn't who she was with.

It wasn't even the house she was residing in.

It was her.

Her discomfort was coming from

trying to be the same 

fear driven child that only 

depended on the ego for answers.

The ego in her

was so strong.

It told her to run!

To Fight!

To manipulate 

and to deceive. 

To the ego, the more people she was able to spark up

and smoke..

The higher she rose...

But the smoke eventually

disappeared..

And she was left standing in the middle of a desert.

Alone.

Even her family was happy and content

as they were.

And she couldn't understand it.

Until now...

Her Ego had created a compulsion for her.

Her pride had set up an army of 

let's change them! 

But really... 

No one needed change.

Everyone accepted themselves as they were.

And that was her whole campaign..

Love and accept yourself

as you are. 

Yet there she was...

in the middle of a desert..

Alone...

Looking to change someone. 

Anyone. 

As a distraction...

A distraction from the truth.

That she only truly needed to 

Love and accept herself as she was.

and

To stop trying to always change the world.

So she finally let out a long sigh of surrender...

 and knew that,  

from this moment on...

All she really needed was to accept

herself,

'As is', 

and then 

Come Friday,

 all will fate itself back 

to what it should be.

Solar Eclipsed Again...

 After climbing out of the rabbit hole 

that she had been exploring for years, 

she found herself 

 half way to Summer.

There she awoke to 

A fresh start and

A new beginning.

Everything in her life previously had been 

Eclipsed away.

There was no turning back.

All had vanished.

Only Darkness there.

Nothing more.

But she decided to face the light.

She had her headphones on.

Jammin out to her jams, 

writing in her blog. 

There was no excuse for her 

not to truly enjoy the things she loved.

Blogging and writing was definitely one of them.

She loved letting her imagination soar 

with all the possibilities of word play.

It made her light up inside. 

It gave her excitement.

It gave her energy.

And so there she began

her new life. 

In the Now Moments.

Always following her excitement.