It was New Years Eve and C had text her, "what you doing tonight?"
She got all excited thinking maybe she could meet up with him. So she wrote him that she had planned to go dancing that night and that maybe he'd like to join her.
C writes back that he just plans to stay in, watch tv, and chill.
She felt a let down but pressed on.. "would you like company?" But C quickly shot it down with "sorry, my brother will be home and wants to hang with me."
At that point, she was feeling it.. The sting of rejection... And she never admits it but she wants to be the independent type... The warrior... The I don't need you I'm fine on my own type... And so she didn't let her heart get any more hurt and pushed it back... way back... probably too far even..
She told C, "you know what, I don't need to bring in my new year like this.. I'm cutting you off. goodbye."
And all C said in response. "Thank you"
She was fuming... She wanted to retaliate... But she took a deep breath instead and pulled herself together...
She wasn't going to let some kid get the best of her. No... she was worth more then that.
So she got herself ready and went to work for the day.
While she was working, her self worth started to rise with each customer that she helped and she was finally feeling better inside.
Along comes E. She met E a while back.. He came through her line one time and they flirted and exchanged numbers. But nothing progressed because she had someone at the time and did not want to confuse the situation.
So here was E, standing in front of her check out lane... Their conversation began to flow. E looked so excited. He looked like he wanted to jump across the checkout lane and hug the crap out of her.. She feared he might actually do it too! So once again E starts texting her and they set up a date for the night. She says to E in text, "meet me and the dance place." E replies with ok, I'm on my way.
At the dance place, it's nearly midnight. Almost Time to ring in the new year. Yet, she's alone with her beer in hand. She decided to go dance alone. She goes out to the dance floor and begins to dance. A girl comes up and they hug... They knew each other from a previous night so it was good to see an old friend to bring in the new year with. The dance place does the count down and everyone is shouting happy new year! She hugs her friend and they continue dancing. A guy comes up and asks her friend to dance and away she goes leaving her behind with only her beer in hand yet that's almost empty too.. Along comes H. She saw H watching her earlier. She winked at him and smiled letting him know she saw him watching and was ok with it. So H walks up to her and asks her to dance. She looks around and doesn't see E anywhere.. He stood her up is her first initial thought and was so totally over the immaturity of most of these guys... So when H asked her to dance she took him up on it right away. To hell with the cowards she thought.
The night rolls on and her and H are getting along pretty well. He bought her a beer and they dance for a while before going upstairs and making out a bit. They exchange numbers and she tells him she is ready to go home... He offers to walk her to her car.
She accepts the offer cuz she knew he just wanted more kisses..
She has nothing against kissing.. In fact, it was her favorite thing to do with the opposite sex.
When she got to her car, there was a text on her phone. E had written to her, "I see you honey"
Her first instinct was a HUGE BURST of LAUGHTER! Which she did!
Must have looked pretty stupid sitting in a dark car, then face lights up from the bright phone screen and all you see is this drunk woman laughing!
But then... she regrouped herself... She thought for a moment...
Saw me?
So he was there? But then why didn't he come to me?
Now that's just creepy!
A guy who would rather watch you then actually be with you...
Yeah, now she was like... Thank God I didn't get with that one!
The next day She woke up and was feeling really great! On top of the world! She went to work and all went really well. It was a slow day.. not many people went shopping the day after new years... Guess they all were hungover... She giggled at that thought. Later that night, she texts H. She asks him if he works the next two days and he says, no, he's on vacation right now since he goes to college and only works part time at the school. She gets excited and asks him to go hiking with her. His response is one of disappointment. He says, He does not like nature.
Who doesn't like nature? She thought to herself..
Obviously this guy.
So she immediately lost interest.
But yet, the guy pressed on and asked to meet her after 6pm for drinks. She said sure, then ended the conversation rather quick.
The next morning she wakes up to a text from Eddie. She met Eddie a long long time ago. Eddie was her 'go to guy'.
Eddie was always there no matter what she threw at him.
He was the type that just didn't care.
The type that is there when he can be but never when you want it.
But for her, there was no emotional attachment with Eddie. With Eddie it was just a plain and simple "wham bam thank you ma'am." sort a thing.
Let's just say She gets more emotion from her vibrator then she does Eddie. But yet, she keeps Eddie around.
So that morning Ding!
Eddie texts her, "I want to see you."
She had just woke up... she hadn't even had her morning coffee yet but she decided to text him back with "Ok"
He asked her, "what you doing today".. To which She replied, "I'm going hiking". He says great, so I'll see you after 6pm...
'H' popped into her head with that word...
"After 6pm"...
She was like... wow... Weird how they both used 'after 6pm'.. But that was her brain working distractions even more...
But back to her only dilemma...
Deciding who she wanted to meet up with...
While hiking, she thought about all the guys.. C, E, H, and Eddie... And she asked herself...
What is her truth?
She really liked C. He was so much like her. Even in fears. No... especially in fears.
But at least C went hiking with her. C was there to dance with her. So why did she cut him off so quick?
FEAR...
So she chose Eddie..
Why?
Because With Eddie there was no emotion.
With Eddie it was safe.
With Eddie she could hide away from it all and pretend like she was winning.
But was she?
She never thinks about the rest...
It's too much..
but...
What about H?
What about her regret with C?
and
What's going to happen with Eddie?
To be continued..
