Mercury had gone into Gemini,
taking her out of her brain
and into the night...
She was sitting in her chair, drinking her 2nd beer
and watching her favorite show, Friends.
Laughter was exploding from her left and right,
and filled the room with very vibrant energy.
She was in a good place.
She was fully content with all that she had accomplished that day
and deserved this kind of happiness because of it.
As the evening began to wind down,
she had a gut feeling to check her phone...
She opened her Facebook and saw a post from her man.
It was written in Spanish of course, but she was curious.. as always.
She translates the post and finds it to read,
"Hey Slave, what you doing?"
She was disgusted.
The very energy of such statement was harsh enough to send a twist in her stomach.
She tries to blow it off that maybe her man was drunk again and just blowing off steam.
Then she notices a notification that she has a text message waiting to be opened.
As she clicks the message box, right before her very eyes,
a message from her man appears,
"What you doing?"
She sees it...
The manipulation.
She decides not to respond.
She was not going to respond to someone else's insecurity validation seeking request.
He didn't start with anything loving. No greeting of any sort.
Just a demanding statement requesting fear based validations.
She wasn't going to give into it.
It wasn't her job.
So she put the phone back down and resumed watching her show.
About thirty minutes later, her man comes home with a bang.
He doesn't come in and greet her.
Even though she sends out her greeting to him.
He says nothing and just sits down behind her and continues to drink.
She continues to watch her show but then as soon as she laughs at a funny scene,
he mocks her very loudly with force and anger.
She tries to ignore it, but after the third time he continued to follow through,
she turned around and asked him what was the problem.
From there, it went downward and she didn't know where she went wrong.
She tried to tell him kindly why she didn't respond to his message,
but he didn't want to hear it.
Sure, if she didn't live with him in the same room, this battle could have been put out rather quickly..
all she would have to do is say, I'm not going to fight.
See you tomorrow when we both cool down and sober up.
But no... that option was not on the menu.
So, as best as she could, she tried to dowse the fire
by standing behind her boundaries.
He wasn't happy, but that was not for her to fix.
Her own happiness was now on the line and it was her responsibility
to work on lifting that.
So she put on a pair of headsets and began her Spanish lessons.
As she finished, she realized he had passed out cold and she let out a sigh of relief.
She thought about her previous blog and knew exactly that this was the death she was referring to.
The death of this type of cycle that ran rampant in each and every single human mind.
A cycle that hungered for outside validations for fears that were floating around inside the body.
It never worked. It never will.
It was time for a new perspective.
But that would take a true desire to heal.
And so that was now the question in the air...
Did they want to heal?
Did he?
Did she?
She already knew she did.
And had already began the process.
Now it was up to him to want it.
Later that night, as she was sleeping in the bed..
She awoke to him turning and hugging her.
When she opened her eyes, she saw an innocent boy before her.
His eyes so sad and hurt searching for comfort.
She hugged him back and let her heart shine it's light.
But she knew that this wasn't over. She knew that true security comes from within...
But she also knew that she was secure enough in her own love
in order to share it with him in that now moment.
And they fell asleep together.
Just as lava did once it erupted out of the volcano
and flowed down the side of the mountain
always coming together
in order to be a stronger flowing force.
